I wrote chapters 1-5..
just got to wait for edits.
I almost can't believe it. I finished.
I was starting to think I didn't know how to finish things.

I always seem to indulge in vices instead.

Starting off the year partying and with much opportunity. I really hope that it is a foreshadowing of the year--I think I deserve it and I'm ready to work so much harder to get what/where I want.

Recently, in the teaching program I'm in, my colleagues elected me to be the site's MALONG coordinator. The MALONG coordinator is basically the go-to person for support, who organizes the mentor-mentee pairings within the site, and helps facilitate certain aspects of the organization with other MALONG coordinators. It was a surprise but also a welcomed opportunity. I finally get to step foot into a leadership position again and see what progress I've made as an individual and professional since my days at UCI. I'd like to think I've come a long way and I can only hope I've taken the necessary steps to make myself a more complete educator and leader.

2011 gave me such great memories, I can't wait to continue that into 2012.

But I didn't get the job not because I'm not qualified and not because there was someone better fit for the position, but because they're "going in a different direction".

I just can't believe it. I knew it was too good to be true. An "LGBT Education Specialist" is too soon apparently, even for San Francisco. And all I can think is, how can you scrap a year's worth of curriculum development and class execution? A year and you're deciding now, as an organization that swears they serve queer youth, that the program pretty much isn't worth it.

This was going to be revolutionary.. I had so many ideas for the class and program--all things I was willing and committed to sharing even before the position was created.

One thing is for sure, I will be a part of that curriculum committee when it comes around because if no one else does it, I will. Time to round up the networks and rely on folks who have already infiltrated the system to make this happen.

It'll take time.. I'll make it happen.

For now, just keep teaching. It's such a bummer to not be paid for all these teachings gigs but seriously, one day I will be. One of my directors/mentors/manongs asked me to Guest Teach in his class at Skyline College again. Heteronormativity and coming out.. I can't fucking wait.

I love my life. I still can't get over what I'm doing with it.

The opportunities are pouring in and I'm swimming for now.

GSQ, PEP, Ethnic Studies, now LGBTQ Studies, and maybe a Center job, my CV is building and so is my identity. It's no longer a push and a pain trying to figure out who I am and at this point, it's happening naturally--the things I do. I'm happy, fulfilled, and hopeful.

Disrupt the system and fuck shit up. Let's do this.

I need a break. Ahhh. The go, go, go, is supposed to stop after commencement, right? But not when you're actually not finished writing. I thought I had this week off but surprise, Nico, you have an Ethnic Studies professional development week. Yikes.

And then it's camp training, PEP interviews, camp starts, PEP Tibak, and more writing in between.

Life is great though. What a great academic year to close off. I can't believe it's over but it's not the end. We watched ALL of our students walk the stage at their promotion and I couldn't help but feel emotional. They all did it and we all helped. Next year is going to be dope.

One more paper to write, one more curriculum to finish, one more PEP meeting, and one more class to teach.

I have so much to look forward to during the rest of December. Tahoe trip this weekend. Adventures with the lady friend. Christmas. SoCal (Disneyland). Ahhh.

Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming.

I haven't noticed anyone else.. not that I'd be looking.

But oh em gee, I haven't noticed anyone else.

Absolutely nothing can describe this feeling. In the words of multiple KNBR 680 announcers: "The Giants have won the World Series". It rings in my ears every time I hear it.

The party last night all over the City was amazing--I'm grateful to have had the opportunity to partake, especially with my bestest friends.

Watching the Giants struggle and win all season--and all my life--was worth the time and the money.

I absolutely cannot wait for Spring Training. Until then, GIANTS ARE WORLD SERIES CHAMPS. CONGRATS SAN FRANCISCO.

I just realized that I'm trying to skip a big part of this pathway I'm on. My protocol/proposal for my field study has not been touched and all my focus and attention has gone to all the teaching I'm doing. I'm already thinking about the credential program I plan on applying to and have somewhat forgotten that I need to finish this Master's program first. Ridiculous? Yes, I know.

I have an amazing opportunity to do a one-day lesson at Skyline College (a CC). One of my PEP Directors is teaching a Filipina/o class and has asked me to teach as part of his week-long focus on sexual identity. I teach on Wednesday and have everything figured out, just need a couple of panel volunteers. I'm pretty stoked for this opportunity. It means I'll have taught at every grade level (Elementary, Middle, HS, and CC) in just 4 months--definitely not a goal I had for myself this year but an amazing accomplishment nonetheless. Now I just need to make more money..

But first, must finish this proposal. I need this final Master's project to be amazing. Back to work.

I'm sorry if it feels as though I have abandoned you, I'm trying the best I can to make time.

School has been in session for nearly a month now and I have yet to create my daily routine. I've definitely reached my capacity as far as energy management so now it's just a matter of putting things in place.

This semester I am:
-taking 2 classes: Sexuality Education & Policy (Tues) and Culture, Language, & Society (Fri/Sat once a month)
-co-teaching Filipino Studies through PEP at Denman Middle School (Thurs)
-assistant teaching Ethnic Studies at Lincoln High School (Weds)
-tutoring for AVID at Denman and Lincoln (~10 hours/week)

Needless to say my Mon-Fri is filled with meetings, class, meetings, teaching, meetings, tutoring, meetings... you get the picture. I'm feeling good though and I know this is my limit as far as what I can handle. My Curriculum Vitae is lookin' fresh.

My note to self for the week: Don't feel guilty about some TLC on the weekends. You deserve it.